Saturday, January 9, 2010
why??
why is th eyes stinking lyk nothing at th back of my eyes.
why do is feel lyk my heart is ripped into two?
why is tears streaming down my face lyk waterfall
distorting all illusions to a cold hard truth?
why cant my family juz read my mood and piss off
why must my mum still nag at me MORE den ever
asking me to get up when i dun wan to
pulling away my blanket when i feel so cold
asking and cursing and swearing bout not eating
thinking tat im juz tat com addict to wants to use to com instead of eating
chasing me out of th toilet when it's th only place i can hide??
why must you still call me when theres nothing more between us?
why must you tell my cousin instead of your frenz?
why do you have to make my cousin seal her lips from me
making me seem lyk a big fool.
why do you have to keep it away from me
juz becoz of your own assumed reasons?
why cant you juz let me get over you fer awhile?
do you have to call me and stir up everything?
i dun even have my own space at home
my mum juz keep checking on me
till i yell at her to go away
and cant she juz leave me alone instead of cursing and swearing at my alr confused life?
this effing suck.
can i tune it off?
brainwaves crashing into everything i believe.
i realise how long it took to sink in th fact
coz i slept soundly ytd
to wake up to emptiness.
tried to cry but th chocolate effect juz wont let me.
im wondering, should i continue eating chocolate till everything's fine,
or should i let it go at once but feeling more suckish den i had in my entire life?
i realised how i nvr ever cried more den 3 mins fer a really long time
coz i always bury it down and pretend it's a perfect world.
and now it's lyk i dunno how to cry out and away.
cant believe it took songs and songs and some crappy youtube video to make me realise
it's gone and over.
how i used to tell my frenz tat life still has to go on.
so yea, my life still have to go on.
i wont let this get in th way.
i wont let th tears get better of me.
i'm gonna study harder than i ever have.
i wont let this get in th way of my mum's birthday celebration later.
although her birthday is on 12th jan.
why hadnt anyone told me tat we're celebratin todae?
i wanna sleep-in forever.
not wake up to some celebration when im not even in th mood.
it's gonna be a feast as usual.
i wonder if i can even cook up an appetite to eat.
sucks tat my head always hurt after crying.
reminding me to stop or my head will burst.
maybe tat's th reason why i nvr really burst out.
i wished to be tat butterfly wif freedom.
am i going back on my words alr?
freedommmm~~~
aint tat great?
i dunno.
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She's Done With Her Words...# ;
